I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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