Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
