We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
