How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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