dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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