When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
