It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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