i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
