you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he puts the penis in happiness.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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