you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
