U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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