pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
