bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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