Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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