just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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