Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
