You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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