4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
