then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize