Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think brook has ever known best
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
