walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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