He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize