:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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