I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize