you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize