Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
