Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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