They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
