I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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