Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
