..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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