Who wears a wallet chain?!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
