so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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