we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
