i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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