So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
