So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I had to cum in my sink.
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