I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
