We won't sleep together?
im holly from the hills drunk
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
