ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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