hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
