I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize