She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
