I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
