i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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