Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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