Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
