Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize