I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
