Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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