Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have feelings that need drinking.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
