Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
