i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
