You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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