dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
