Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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