Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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