Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
