conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
