Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
