I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
