Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
