We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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