i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
