windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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