playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
