How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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