I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize