butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
