dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
