? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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