I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
