dude i'm inner monologue high
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
