She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
