HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
