He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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