i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
